Working Mama or Mama Working?

Working Mama or Mama Working?

d2quija2h-i-beauty-cocktails-girltalk

I recently participated in a women’s webinar group to discuss the myth of “balance” and how it applies to life, partnerships, parenting and more specifically, mom entrepreneurs who work from home.  When I first heard this phrase my ego immediately became defensive and I struggled to support all of the spaces in my life where I felt I had achieved this idea of “balance.”  I mean for crying out loud, I have four wonderful and incredibly helpful children (well, maybe not the 6 month old but she’s just angelic), a loving, supportive and amazing husband plus I get to customize my schedule to work from home.  This truly is my dream life.  I get to be a stay-at-home-mom AND work from home.

But wait…how does all of this actually work?

Two full time positions???

This doesn’t sound right.

I’m waking up every day and going through all the motions of what looks like a balanced life but when I took more time to evaluate I realized this wasn’t the truth.  And this definitely wasn’t MY truth.

Something.  Always.  Has.  To.  Give.

At the beginning of 2017 the words “discipline” and “organization” popped up loud and clear for me.  I wasn’t quite sure where that would take me but here I am standing on a sort of balance beam trying to decipher how to be a work-at-home mom and also attentively parent my kiddos.  One leaks into the other constantly.  I write blog posts with my daughter on my lap.  I watch volleyball games while responding to emails.  I breastfeed and turn down the light display to “night-shift,” so I can check social media and respond to clients without startling my babe.

My full attention isn’t available to ANYTHING OR ANYONE and everything feels chaotic, disheveled and incomplete (hence the very late blog post).

It’s time for a change, a shift, a new design.

dvxgnwnywem-giulia-bertelli

I run to what I know best…breathe, mediate and connect.  Just 20 minutes for myself to tune into my soul’s voice and pay attention.  I beg for guidance… anything to help shift me out of this uncomfortable, unproductive state and propel me forward to JOY.

I find a space of gentleness and focus all consciousness into the sanctuary of my heart.  This place is my anchor.  I forgive and embrace my imperfections, reminding myself of this human experience… all lessons to experience.  I thank my ego (once again) for assisting my process, for trying so damn hard to run the show and keep us in control but that it’s time she needs a break.  I suddenly feel lighter as I welcome my higher self back into the driver’s seat and invite her to settle in as we create a new plan.  I feel immense gratitude for all parts, all stories, all experiences.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

tammbr4okv4-ian-schneider

My soul creates and I discover:

  • In order for me to be Mom to my precious babes AND create my soul’s offering to the human collective, I MUST focus on things that matter most to me by delegating and creating structure.  This means saying no when necessary (and without explanation) and saying yes when my soul screams it.
  • My time is a precious value and the things I create within that space hold that value. I designate a “work” time and “mom” time and create boundaries to support those times.  I will be fierce and unapologetic by claiming my space in order to do what it is I need to do.
  • I will work on simplifying my life and creating a streamline to focus in on what is important in this very moment.
  • I am the only one in charge of creating MY self-discipline and organization. I embrace the empowerment that flows from this ownership.
  • I will ask for support and often. It takes a village and I need to remember that.
  • I will remember that I am not asking anything more of myself than what I desire to do today and in this very moment.
  • I will not fall into the “land of motherly regrets” or “mom guilt” because as I said in my earlier post I will not shame myself for loving my children AND desiring to be of service to humanity.
  • I will prioritize time for my own self-love and check in often to see how all of this feels. Adjustments will be made as the journey continues but I am the only one responsible for scheduling and showing up for this time.  Self-care/love is essential for all parts of my being – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
  • I will return to my anchor of love and allow my guidance to flow from this space.
  • Lastly, I will pick myself up and dust myself off every time I fall down and make mistakes because it will happen… again and again, because I am wonderfully made and an imperfect human.

uugr3txnuc-noah-silliman

I truly feel like I have a new game plan.  This week is all about implementing the things that have come up for me and creating a visual schedule to support my time and goals.  I can’t wait to share more about my journey of organization and discipline in mamahood and business.

XO,

Jen